“I want”

Blogging can feel like a very selfish thing, and I worry that my posts all revolve around: me, myself and I. But for this post, I’m going to overlook my concerns.

I’ve been feeling quite lost recently, and have been asking myself what I want.

Which is something I don’t ask myself often enough. You see, unfortunately for me, I’m one of those responsible directionless souls, and I tend to focus more on what’s needed than what my actual wants are. So I’ve been thinking (yes, that’s where the smoke comes from) and I’ve come up with a list of some of the things I want. If you’re interested, here goes…..

I want to:

Have face to face conversations that are not interrupted by the constant pinging dins of a cell phone.

Live in a place where life is not about how: busy you can pretend to be, what car you drive, phone you have or the suburb you live in. I want to be surrounded by genuine people, who care. And those who strive to better themselves and not demean others.

Be part of big family lunches, outside around a long wooden table filled with wholesome food. The air permeated with happy banter and laughter, and the sound of music in the background.

Wake up before the sun rises; get in my car, and go. With no destination in mind, just go where the road takes me.

Sit in a comfy chair next to the fire place on a winters evening, reading poetry and sipping on something smooth and warming.

Swim in the deep pool of a cool mountain stream, feeling the sand underneath my toes. And afterwards, sun myself, like a lizard, on the warm water-smoothed rocks.

Sit on a porch swing with an old friend and reminisce about the days gone by.

Get to Sunday evening and be enthusiastic about my work week ahead. However busy or daunting it may be.

Hike all day, until my body aches. To a destination where I fall asleep counting the stars.

Lie on a blanket with someone whose imagination matches my own and see what images we can spot in the clouds.

Watch musicians playing a piece of music they truly love.

Spend some time in a cabin in the hills, to live simply and self-sufficiently.

Sit around a campfire in the middle of nowhere, and have meandering conversations with intelligent people until the early hours of morning.

Climb to the top of a koppie before sunrise, sit on the cold rocks and watch the world slowly grow light.

Remember the smile of the people I’ve helped, even if they never knew it was my doing.

Sit by a well lit window, on a rainy day and read to my heart’s content.

Dance like a crazy thing, in the soft summer rain, not caring what watchers may think.

Visit a strange town and listen to the stories of the locals, from the granny behind the counter at the grocer quoting her family history, to the kid in the street outside introducing me to his new puppy.

Spend a windy afternoon flying kites with a group of boisterous and animated youngsters.

Have a huge picnic with all the best people I know. The people who make me smile.

Sling a hammock between two trees, and spend the day loafing and watching the sea.

Walk through a carnival eating cotton candy, holding the hand of someone I love and watching the people laughing as they enjoy the various rides.

I want to be free enough to do all these things, and focused enough to make them all count.

I want to be amongst the few who dare to follow their dreams.

But, enough about me, what do you want from this life?